The questions you ask yourself

Want to feel more empowered?

When we ask ourselves questions, our brains love to go to work to find the answers. 

When we ask ourselves disempowering questions, our brain will likely find disempowering answers. For example, we might ask, “What’s wrong with me?” And some of the answers that come might be familiar and automatic, “I never get it right; I mess things up all the time; I’m so lame.” These answers aren’t very inspiring or productive. They can keep us stuck.

When we ask ourselves more empowering, curious, open questions, our brain will likely find options that feel more empowering or productive. For example, “What am I learning from this?” And some of the answers might be, “I’m learning that I can do hard things; I’m learning that discomfort is sometimes necessary to move me forward; I’m learning that maybe what I thought I wanted wasn’t actually right for me.” These answers can shift us towards what we want.

Below are some examples of disempowering (sound familiar?) and empowering questions:


Why do I keep doing this?

Why did I have to make that mistake?

Why isn’t he calling me back?

Why is this so hard?

Why can’t I get it right?

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I so messed up?


How is this working for me?

What if this was all happening perfectly?

What if it’s okay that this is hard?

What would this look like if it was easy?

What am I learning from this?

How do I want to show up in this situation?

What’s right with me?

Who do I want to be?

Your turn: Are you open to becoming more aware of the types of questions that are going through your mind? What are three disempowering questions that you find yourself asking yourself? What are some more empowering questions you could ask yourself instead?

Feeling challenged to shift towards empowering questions? Book a 45-minute exploratory session and we’ll work it out together!

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

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