Self-care starts in your mind.
From my clients, I’ve surmised that many of us wonder why self-care feels so hard to engage in sometimes. We know WHAT to do—eat well, rest, move our body, take time for ourselves—but life seems to keep getting in the way.
When our nervous system is in “survival mode” (fight, flight, or freeze), it’s very challenging to prioritize ourselves. Chronic stress keeps our brain and body in overdrive, making even small acts of care feel overwhelming. When we feel stuck in a cycle of stress, overwhelm, or self-doubt, self-care feels hard to prioritize.
Our nervous system responds not just to external stressors but also to our thoughts. Fearful, negative, or chaotic thinking can keep us in “fight or flight” mode, making it hard to focus, relax, or care for ourselves.
The good news? We can calm our nervous system with our thoughts.
Here are two things to recognize and try:
Negative Thoughts Are Optional:
- When we notice a stressful thought, we can ask, “What’s another way to think about this?”
- Example: Instead of “I’m failing at self-care,” we can choose to think “I’m learning what works for me, one step at a time.”
Affirmations Change Our Perspective:
- We can choose to think affirming phrases like “I am safe,” “I can handle this,” or “I can figure this out.”
- Say them out loud, write them down, or repeat them in your mind throughout the day.
When we can consciously shift our thinking, we signal to our brain that we’re safe. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of our body responsible for rest, digestion, and recovery.
A large part of self-care is knowing how to regulate our nervous system. And then, with a regulated nervous system, we are more ready to show up for ourselves so that self-care becomes something we WANT to do, not something we “should” do.
Your turn: How can you be more intentional with your thoughts today? In what other ways do you naturally calm your own nervous system? Are you open to seeing how a regulated nervous system supports you in living your life differently? I’d love to hear any insights you have.
I talk more about how to be intentional with your thoughts in my program Tools to Change Your Life. Check it out here!
Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.
Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.
What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.
The Healing Modalities 