Let it be hard.
When we want to make positive changes in our lives, it’s usually because we know we can be living in a more aligned way. Aligned to what?
Aligned to the version of ourselves we are becoming. Aligned to who we want to be. Aligned to the best version of ourselves. And it takes time, trial and error, and energy to know the direction we want to move towards.
When we make decisions to change, we recognize that our lives might feel out of alignment with who we know we can be. That doesn’t mean who we are right now is “wrong” or “bad” or “not good enough”–it just means we know we can grow even more than where we are right now.
I want to offer that this is part of showing care and love for ourselves, by wanting a healthier body, better relationships, finding our purpose, a job that will challenge us, being more present in our lives.
So we decide to make the changes we think will move us towards those goals.
We might feel motivated and inspired at first, when our thoughts about what we’re doing make it easy to start out. Thoughts like, “I can do this. This is easy. This feels good. I’m doing something right for myself.”
But then it starts getting hard. Most of the time, people don’t stick to what they say they want because it starts to get hard.
When it starts to get hard, we feel uncomfortable. Our brains want to go back to what was easy, comfortable, and familiar.
Even if that ease, comfort, and familiarity wasn’t in our best interests and is why we made the decision to create changes in our life in the first place.
When it gets hard, we may think:
“I don’t feel like it today.”
“I can keep scrolling for another 20 minutes.” (which turns into 60 minutes!)
“I miss him so much, I’ll just text him to see how he’s doing.”
These urges come up because we want to go back to what is easy, comfortable, and familiar. If we keep answering these urges by returning to what’s easy, comfortable, and familiar, we won’t get to the place where we pass through the “hard” part.
Instead, we can allow the urges–and any other feelings that come up–to be there without resisting or reacting to them. We can process them through instead.
So let it be hard. And keep doing it anyway.
Keep sticking to the plan. Keep remembering why this is important. It was a decision to want more for ourselves because we care about ourselves. To align with who we want to be and are becoming.
When we can let it be hard, we will pass through to the other side of it. Then it will just become a regular part of what we do in our lives, a part of who we are.
Your turn: Are you ready to stop quitting on yourself? Are you willing to let it be hard? What would happen if you let it be hard and got to the place where it’s just part of what you do and who you are? How would your life be better or different then?
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