Tag: worrying

Equal air time

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

For the best-case.

As we get ready for the holidays and potentially spending extended time with family members, I’d like to remind us all about the importance of equal air time.

Have you noticed that you think about worst-case scenarios more than you think about best-case scenarios?

This is partly due to our brains being wired to think this way, in order to survive. We want to be prepared for the worst. But why don’t we ever want to be prepared for the best?

Again, this is partly due to how our brains work – sometimes, we don’t want to be disappointed, so we avoid thinking about the best-case scenario to “protect” ourselves in case it doesn’t happen. OR, we think we’ll know how to handle the best-case scenario with ease, so we don’t worry about it much. 

But we DON’T think we’ll be able to handle the worst-case scenario, so we dwell on it, worry about it, ruminate about it – to no end sometimes.

Worrying pretends to be necessary. We think that if we worry enough, we’ll be prepared enough. 

I want to offer that with any-case scenarios, we won’t know what will happen or how we’ll feel and act until we’re there.

What we CAN spend more time doing is giving the best-case scenario EQUAL AIR TIME. 

Equal air time just means that if we’re going to think about what’s wrong, what’s bad, what’s lacking, what’s missing, what could go wrong, etc. then we choose on purpose to also think about what’s right, what’s good, what’s enough, what’s here right now, and what’s going right.

It may not be the best-case scenario, but it’s a better-case scenario when we can see what’s right about something instead of what’s wrong about something – especially when thinking about what’s wrong about something isn’t serving us. We can help ourselves experience more appreciation and gratitude in that space of thinking about what’s right about something. 

And there’s less room for the story about “what’s wrong” to take up space when we’re focused on the story about “what’s right.” There’s always a 50/50 component to life – positive/negative. What we choose to focus on intentionally is up to us.

Your turn: If you find yourself thinking about “what’s wrong” often, are you willing to give equal air time to “what’s right”? What would be different for you if you started giving equal air time to “what could go right” versus “what could go wrong”? 

Check out my introductory coaching program: Tools to Change Your Life

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Are you worrying too much?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s exhausting.

For most of us, worrying seems necessary. But what is it that we’re doing when we worry?

When we’re worrying, we’re making up a story about what could happen – usually the worst-case scenario – and then thinking as if it’s already happened.

What do we create for ourselves when we do that? We use a lot of mental and psychic energy focusing our minds on something that might happen and that will unlikely happen. And it’s exhausting.

When we think we’re protecting ourselves from a possible outcome that hasn’t happened yet, we’re hurting ourselves ahead of time. We’re already feeling all the emotions and thinking all the thoughts we might feel if this outcome happened. So we’re going through it as if it’s already happened, when it hasn’t yet or maybe never will.

Worrying is just a bunch of thoughts that we’re thinking. And likely the same thoughts repeating over and over again.

So what are the facts? A fact may be that an event is coming up on June 14th where you’re speaking in front of people. A fact may be that your son is going to a party with his friends this weekend. A fact may be that you’re traveling to Florida on June 25th. A fact may be that someone you care about hasn’t called you back for two days. A fact may be that you just got a mammogram done today and you’re waiting for results. 

Everything else in your mind is just thoughts that you’re thinking about the facts.

We may think that worrying about something may “prepare” us for what could happen. But what if the worst-case scenario does happen? Will worrying about it make it any less devastating in the moment when it happens? No. Likely we will feel all the painful feelings that come up. 

Worrying about it in advance only drains your energy ahead of time and doesn’t necessarily “prepare” or “protect” you from worst-case scenarios.

Your turn: What’s the upside of worrying? Instead of worrying, is it possible to keep your thoughts focused on the facts? What could happen instead if you keep your thoughts neutral or focused on the best possible outcome instead of the worst case?

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Equal air time

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

For the best-case.

Have you noticed that you think about worst-case scenarios more than you think about best-case scenarios?

This is partly due to our brains being wired to think this way, in order to survive. We want to be prepared for the worst. But why don’t we ever want to be prepared for the best?

Again, this is partly due to how our brains work – sometimes, we don’t want to be disappointed, so we avoid thinking about the best-case scenario to “protect” ourselves in case it doesn’t happen. OR, we think we’ll know how to handle the best-case scenario with ease, so we don’t worry about it much. 

But we DON’T think we’ll be able to handle the worst-case scenario, so we dwell on it, worry about it, ruminate about it – to no end sometimes. Worrying pretends to be necessary. We think that if we worry enough, we’ll be prepared enough. 

I want to offer that with any-case scenarios, we won’t know what will happen or how we’ll feel and act until we’re there.

What we CAN spend more time doing is giving the best-case scenario EQUAL AIR TIME. 

Equal air time just means that if we’re going to think about what’s wrong, what’s bad, what’s lacking, what’s missing, what could go wrong, etc. then we choose on purpose to also think about what’s right, what’s good, what’s enough, what’s here right now, and what’s going right.

It may not be the best-case scenario, but it’s a better-case scenario when we can see what’s right about something instead of what’s wrong about something – especially when thinking about what’s wrong about something isn’t serving us. We can help ourselves experience more appreciation and gratitude in that space of thinking about what’s right about something. 

And there’s less room for the story about “what’s wrong” to take up space when we’re focused on the story about “what’s right.” There’s always a 50/50 component to life – positive/negative. What we choose to focus on intentionally is up to us.

Your turn: If you find yourself thinking about “what’s wrong” often, are you willing to give equal air time to “what’s right”? What would be different for you if you started giving equal air time to “what could go right” versus “what could go wrong”? 

I’d love to hear any insights you want to share!

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

What does worrying do?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s exhausting.

For most of us, worrying seems necessary. But what is it that we’re doing when we worry?

When we’re worrying, we’re making up a story about what could happen–usually the worst-case scenario–and then thinking as if it’s already happened.

What do we create for ourselves when we do that? We use a lot of mental and psychic energy focusing our minds on something that might happen and that will unlikely happen. And it’s exhausting.

When we think we’re protecting ourselves from a possible outcome that hasn’t happened yet, we’re hurting ourselves ahead of time. We’re already feeling all the emotions and thinking all the thoughts we might feel if this outcome happened. So we’re going through it as if it’s already happened, when it hasn’t yet or maybe never will.

Worrying is just a bunch of thoughts that we’re thinking. And likely the same thoughts repeating over and over again.

So what are the facts? A fact may be that an event is coming up on June 14th where you’re speaking in front of people. A fact may be that your son is going to a party with his friends this weekend. A fact may be that you’re traveling to Florida on June 25th. A fact may be that someone you care about hasn’t called you back for two days. A fact may be that you just got a mammogram done today and you’re waiting for results. 

Everything else in your mind is just thoughts that you’re thinking about the facts.

We may think that worrying about something may “prepare” us for what could happen. But what if the worst-case scenario does happen? Will worrying about it make it any less devastating in the moment when it happens? No. Likely we will feel all the painful feelings that come up. 

Worrying about it in advance only drains your energy ahead of time and doesn’t necessarily “prepare” or “protect” you from worst-case scenarios.

Your turn: What’s the upside of worrying? Instead of worrying, is it possible to keep your thoughts focused on the facts? What could happen instead if you keep your thoughts neutral or focused on the best possible outcome instead of the worst case?

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.