Tag: resistance

When you “don’t got” this

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

That’s OK.

How many of us have said to others or have had it said to us, “You got this!”? Or how many times have we said to ourselves, “I got this!”? 

Sometimes that phrase can be an energizing, motivating way to support someone else or ourselves. Sometimes we need to hear it to get a nudge of confidence or determination to do something hard. 

And sometimes, the most supportive thing we can tell ourselves is the truth, “I DON’T got this.”

It might be a hard truth to hear for some of us who are used to figuring it out no matter what or pushing through it all the time. 

But try it out. Let it sink in. “I don’t got this.” 

How does it feel to say that? Maybe to admit that?

Maybe it doesn’t feel realistic because it’s not really true right now. Maybe it doesn’t feel supportive. Maybe it feels icky. Why?

Or maybe it feels like relief. Maybe it feels like a revelation. Maybe it feels responsible. 

When we can allow ourselves to think or say, “I don’t got this,” we are allowing ourselves to tell the truth in some aspect of our lives that might feel daunting or overwhelming. Sometimes our lives can feel that way because we are human beings living in a world that we mostly can’t control.

If we can admit to ourselves, “I don’t got this,” a helpful next thing to ask is, “What do I need?”

Our brains like to find answers, so asking “What do I need?” gives our brain a job to do. The answer might be:

  • “Let it be for now” or
  • “I think I need to talk to someone” or
  • “I think I need to ask John for help” or 
  • “I think I need to ask Susie for help too” or
  • “I think I need to slow down” or
  • “I think I need to cry it out”

Or whatever the answer might be, listen and allow. 

It doesn’t mean we give up and we’ll never “got this” again. It means right now, we need some extra support – either from ourselves or from others who we trust to help or support us in a way that works for all involved.

Your turn: Where in your life do you “don’t got” this right now? Are you willing to admit that to yourself and have it be OK for now? Are you open to seeing what you need to move forward? How would you like to support yourself in this?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

In a hurry to change?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

What are you resisting?

Sometimes we feel a sense of urgency to make a change in our lives. We think by making the change, we’ll feel better and we want to feel better NOW. This is what happens when we think our circumstances create our feelings. 

There’s nothing wrong with changing our circumstances if we can easily do that. But we usually bring our emotional state into the new circumstances as well, if we don’t spend time managing our mindset first.

For example, a client of mine recently started dating again after being off the dating apps for over 10 months. The last time she was on them, she met someone she really liked. It was long-distance, however, and the other person ended things after two months because long-distance was too hard. They didn’t have a “want match” in that aspect. And that breakup was very hard for her because she enjoyed the other person so much. 

During one of our coaching sessions together, she realized she felt a sense of urgency to meet and start dating someone new because of two things: 1) she had a belief, “If it doesn’t happen quickly, it will never happen,” and 2) she was trying to escape the feeling of hurt and sadness she still felt about the relationship ending, even after time had passed – she wasn’t over that person yet. 

In her effort to escape (resist) the feelings of hurt and sadness, she wanted to change her circumstance by meeting someone new so she would no longer feel hurt and sad. Along with recognizing that, it was also important for her to see the limiting belief she held.

So this is what we did. We pulled out the limiting belief, “If it doesn’t happen quickly, it will never happen” and looked at why that wasn’t true. Since she is being more intentional with who and what she wants, maybe it’s happening FOR her that it’s taking some time before she meets someone she really likes. In the past, things had happened somewhat quickly where she met someone she really liked, but ultimately, the relationship didn’t end up being what she wanted – the “want matches” weren’t there. 

I asked, “So how might taking ‘longer’ this time be happening FOR you?” She came up with:

  • – “I get to clarify even more who I want to be with and who I want to BE in the relationship.”
  • – “Even when it feels hard – discouraging, disappointing, rejecting – I remind myself why this is important to me and I keep showing up for myself instead of wanting to give up.”
  • – “I get to show myself love and compassion through this, which strengthens my relationship with myself.”

There are probably even more things she could find. 

The other thing we pulled out was the resistance to her feelings. When she became aware that she was resisting and trying to escape those feelings of hurt and sadness, she began to allow them to be there. 

She noticed that by allowing those feelings, the sense of urgency decreased. Because now there was less to resist or escape. She could be accepting of where she is emotionally and see that the feelings could be there and not overwhelm her. She could have compassion for herself about why she feels hurt and sad. 

She now feels more comfortable with taking her time during this process of dating and meeting people, being intentional and patient. She recognizes that even in this, she is learning and growing.

Your turn: Where in your life do you feel a sense of urgency? Can you recognize if you have a limiting belief in that area? What is the belief? Can you recognize if you’re resisting emotions in that area? What are the emotions? If you find that you feel a sense of urgency, what does having compassion for yourself look like? How might this “taking longer” or “taking too long” be happening FOR you?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

I didn’t want to write this post

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

😑

Sometimes, I just don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like doing “the thing,” whatever it happens to be. 

For example, I didn’t feel like writing this post this week. I kept thinking, “What do I have to say? I’ve said everything that I want to say. I don’t have any new ideas.” 

I felt unmotivated to come up with something new. But because I’m committed to myself and my business, I decided to tell the truth and have that be a topic I’m writing to you about this week.

We all struggle with those times when we say to ourselves, “I just don’t feel like it!” And then we don’t do whatever it is that we told ourselves we’d do. 

And sometimes, that’s OK. When we check-in with ourselves and find that we really don’t have the energy or capacity to do something, we can choose not to do it. 

We just want to make sure that it’s intentional, on purpose, and not just an automatic response, a way for us to push the “easy” button on something that might be really important to us in the long run. 

What I mean is, are we getting in our own way and self-sabotaging in that moment OR are we choosing to take care of ourselves in that moment? 

Because sometimes doing something to take care of ourselves might be hard – not easy. And doing something self-sabotaging is usually easy. Like eating that fourth cookie, or having that third drink, or blowing off the gym, our walk, our yoga class, our meditation practice – or not writing a weekly blog post. 

So we really want to check-in with ourselves and ask, “Do I really not have the energy or capacity for this? Or do I just want to do the easy thing? What might be the long-term benefit of doing / not doing this thing?” 

Sometimes we will choose to do the easy thing. If we do, we choose that on purpose and then we don’t need to beat ourselves up for it. Because choosing the easy thing and beating ourselves up for it doesn’t help anyone. In fact, it probably defeats the purpose of choosing the easy thing if we’re just going to beat ourselves up for it. Might as well choose the hard thing, then!

So I could’ve chosen the easy thing and not written a post this week. Would anyone have noticed? Maybe. Maybe not. But I chose to write this post and tell the truth about not wanting to write this post as an example of what’s possible. 

(And honestly, when I finally sat down to write this, it wasn’t that hard!)

We can be intentional about our decisions as acts of care for ourselves, instead of automatically pushing the “easy” button. And we get to know the difference between self-sabotaging actions and self-care actions. We can always choose differently next time. 

Your turn: Are you clear about which of your choices are self-sabotaging or self-caring? If not, you can get clearer for yourself. Each time you have the thought, “I don’t feel like it,” get curious with yourself. Why don’t you feel like it? Is it about caring for yourself or is it about pushing the “easy” button for yourself (aka, possibly a self-sabotaging action)? 

Ultimately, you get to decide which one it is for you. Asking the last question, “What might be the long-term benefit of doing / not doing this thing?” could also help you find more clarity.

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Episode 2 of my show “Get Out of Your Own Way” is on today at 3:30pm Pacific time! And you can find it wherever you listen to podcasts, by searching my name, April Yee. Listen to it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Podcast Addict, and more!

Allowing this to be

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Greetings, from my bed.

This week I’ve been at home and mostly in bed, due to a back injury. I tweaked my back on Sunday and it spasmed whenever I moved in a certain way. I didn’t like being in pain. I didn’t like that I had to cancel my plans and appointments and couldn’t work. I felt worried because I was thinking that it wouldn’t get better. 

Then, like I practice with emotional pain, I practiced with this physical pain. I felt where it was in my body. I didn’t judge it or tell myself I shouldn’t feel it. I allowed the pain to be there. Instead of fighting against it and the reality of it. 

What does fighting against reality look like? We fight against reality by thinking thoughts like: 

“It shouldn’t be this way.” 

“This shouldn’t be happening.” 

“I shouldn’t have to experience this.”

“It” can be replaced with any of these: she, he, I, they, my weight, my life, etc. 

“This” can stand in for whatever is happening that feels uncomfortable, undesirable, or unfair.

When we think these types of thoughts about something we have no control over or really can’t change, we’re resisting reality. 

We’re spending emotional energy on it and wishing it were different. But if it’s something we can’t change, it’s not only pointless, but painful. And it doesn’t do anything to change what happened.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance. On the way from resistance to acceptance, there is non-resistance. 

When we start to practice non-resistance, when we start to acknowledge that we may be fighting against something that we can’t change and just let it be what it is, there can be peace and ease and healing. 

How do we know it was supposed to happen? Because it did. 

That might be hard to swallow, but then there’s nothing to fight against. Then everything is going the way it’s supposed to go.

I know this is a big leap for many people. Many people feel resistant to even thinking of this as a possibility for themselves. To let go of how things “should” be or “should” have happened, and let things just be as they are. 

Of course, we need to process the emotions we feel when something happens that we didn’t want to happen. The emotions of disappointment, frustration, sadness, anger, hurt, loss, or grief. And let it take as long as it takes to process them. 

Just like it takes as long as it takes to heal part of our body. We can do it with care, kindness, and compassion for ourselves instead of fighting it – and fighting ourselves too.

When we can create more space for how things are, we surrender a little, we release some tension, we find some freedom. 

Your turn: What have you been resisting recently? What would happen if you allowed it to be what it is, without needing it to be different? How can the question, “How is this happening FOR me?” create some space in your experience? 

(This back pain was happening for me to practice being with pain and with myself in a compassionate way. It helped me see how I can take even better care of myself, to recognize sooner when I’m pushing myself too hard, and to work through my emotions more openly. It’s a continuous practice – all of it –  and that’s OK!)

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Doing B work

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

In service of self-care.

When it comes to self-care, we may think we don’t have time for it. But why? 

It might be because we’re trying to do A+ work all the time. And this doesn’t just relate to our jobs/work, but also other areas in our life.

Why are we driven to do A+ work all the time? It might come from society’s values or our culture and has been ingrained in us as our own value, to strive for that. 

But what is the cost of doing A+ work all the time? If there’s no cost, keep doing it! But likely, doing A+ work all the time leaves little room for other things in our lives, especially self-care. 

What if doing B work is OK if it means freeing up some space in our lives to give more of our energy to what WE value most?

Maybe the A+ work DOES matter sometimes, and we get to choose when those times are. But first, we need to realize that our drive to do A+ work all the time takes a toll. What is that toll? 

We can choose when to value A+ work over B work. And we can choose when to value B work over A+ work. 

When does A+ work truly represent our values? 

And when does B work truly represent our values? 

If doing B work means making space to spend a little more time sleeping, or doing something that brings us joy, or cooking a healthy meal, or going for that walk, or spending extra time with loved ones, would that be more valuable than the A+ work that might get done in its place? We might even decide that we can be proud of B work in service to ourselves. 

What if living a fuller, more meaningful life means doing B work sometimes – or most of the time? What if we’re intentional about putting our values first and choosing to act based on what really matters to us, not what we think is expected of us?

Your turn: What do you want to prioritize in your life? How might doing B work support you in this? What is a value that you have always wanted to prioritize for yourself but haven’t committed to yet? How might doing some B work give you more space to move towards that?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Good enough, right now

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

You are.

When I talk about self-care, it’s about more than what we do for ourselves. It’s also about how we speak to ourselves, how we think about ourselves, and how we treat ourselves. Today’s topic relates to how we think about ourselves.

How many of us are familiar with the thoughts “I’m not good enough” or “There’s something wrong with me” or “I’m not worthy”? 

These thoughts are usually under the surface of our consciousness, yet they can run the show for us, even if we’re not aware of them. 

The thought that was running the show for me for many years was “I’m not good enough” and I didn’t even know it was there. But it influenced many of the choices I made and how I viewed myself.

In therapy, “I’m not good enough” revealed itself to me and I understood better why I suffered so much when my romantic relationships ended. Not only was I devastated that the relationship ended, but I also made it mean that I wasn’t good enough to have a “successful” relationship, which to me, meant a relationship “that lasted” (for as long as I wanted it to). I made it mean that because it ended, I was a failure, I wasn’t good enough. Hence, the unnecessary suffering.

Since that time period in therapy, I thought I’d done a lot of work on dissolving that “I’m not good enough” thought. Yet it came up again recently. Another layer showed itself in a slightly different way. 

I recognized that I was believing I had to be better than I am in order to have the things I want. Whether it’s more income, more clients, better health, or a partner. For others, it might be being at an ideal weight, owning a home, getting a new job, starting a business, receiving kindness from others, taking time off, etc. 

I saw the thought, “Something is wrong with me and this is why I don’t have what I want.” I thought I needed to be better than I currently am in order to have what I want. 

And that’s just not true. Because how will I know I’m “better” than I currently am? That could be an indefinite amount of time getting to some “better” version of myself until I deem myself “worthy enough” to have what I want. 

You know what that sounds like? It sounds like, “I have to be perfect before I can have what I want.” And we all know that “perfect” doesn’t exist. Sure, there’s knowledge and skills we can always strengthen, but we don’t have to be “better than” we are right now to believe we are worthy or good enough. We get out of our own way when we let this be true.

So I decided to accept myself exactly as I am, right now. I changed my thoughts to “I’m already good enough, right now, just as I am, to have what I want. I don’t need to be better than I am to have what I want.” And I’m leaning into these thoughts and practicing them. 

Because I don’t have to be “better than” I am. I get to be exactly as I am right now and still create the life that I want to have. What will come to me as I am, is meant for me as I am. And I will learn and grow from creating and having those experiences.

Your turn: What limiting beliefs might be running the show for you? A clue could be that if you think there’s some future version of yourself you need to be to feel “good enough” or if you think you need to “fix” something about yourself to feel worthy, what is the belief beneath that? What do you want to believe about yourself instead?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

When you fight against reality

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Practice acceptance.

Most of us are used to—and mostly unaware of—creating unnecessary emotional pain when we “fight against reality.”

What does fighting against reality look like? We fight against reality by thinking thoughts like: 

“It shouldn’t be this way.” 

“This shouldn’t be happening.” 

“I shouldn’t have to do this.”

“It” can be replaced with any of these: she, he, I, they, my weight, my life, etc. 

“This” can stand in for whatever is happening that feels uncomfortable, undesirable, or unfair.

When we think these types of thoughts about something we have no control over or really can’t change, we’re resisting reality. 

We’re spending emotional energy on it and wishing it were different. But if it’s something we can’t change, it’s not only pointless, but painful. And it doesn’t do anything to change what happened.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance. On the way from resistance to acceptance, there is non-resistance. And beyond acceptance, there is “loving what is.” That’s the big one.

When we start to practice non-resistance, when we start to acknowledge that we may be fighting against something that we can’t change and just let it be what it is, there can be peace and ease. 

How do we know it was supposed to happen? Because it did. 

That might be hard to swallow, but then there’s nothing to fight against. Then everything is going the way it’s supposed to go.

I know this is a big leap for many people. Many people feel resistant to even thinking of this as a possibility for themselves. To let go of how things “should” be or “should” have happened, and let things just be as they are. 

Maybe it’s not exactly “loving what is” yet, but what about some acceptance, or even some non-resistance? Instead of all the resistance, along with the emotional pain it brings.

This is not to say that we don’t change what is possible to change, or that we don’t move towards the change we want to see in our lives, or that we condone injustices. 

But again, when we think injustices “shouldn’t” happen when they do in fact happen unfortunately all too often, we’re fighting against reality, resisting how things actually are in the world. 

And that only creates emotional pain and suffering for ourselves. When we’re in pain, we usually aren’t taking the actions that create change. 

Of course, we need to process the emotions we feel when something happens that we didn’t want to happen. The emotions of disappointment, frustration, sadness, anger, hurt, loss, or grief. And let it take as long as it takes to process them. 

But how long do we want to keep wishing it didn’t happen and add suffering on top of all those emotions?

When we can create more space for how things are, we surrender a little, we release some tension, we find some freedom. And that’s when we’ll get clear about what we really want and move towards creating the changes we want to see. 

Your turn: What have you been resisting recently? What would happen if you allowed it to be what it is, without needing it to be different? How can the question, “How is this happening FOR me?” create some space in your experience?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

When things don’t work out

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Don’t give up.

When we’re focused on moving towards our goals, we can feel deeply disappointed when something doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would or wanted it to. 

We feel disappointed when we don’t get the job we really want.

We feel disappointed when we don’t see the weight on the scale go down fast enough. 

We feel disappointed when the offer we put on the house we wanted gets outbid.

We feel disappointed when a relationship we’re feeling good about doesn’t move forward.

It’s easy to want to give up and think we’ll never have what we want when outcomes don’t happen the way we want and we feel disappointed.

But we don’t feel disappointed because of the outcome. We feel disappointed because of what we’re thinking about the outcome and what we make it mean about ourselves or about our lives.

Usually the thoughts have something to do with us not being good enough or that we’re doing something wrong or that we’ll never get it right.

But what if there’s nothing wrong with us or our lives? What if what we need is a nudge in a direction that we haven’t yet considered? What if the outcome we received means that there is something even better and more aligned with us waiting out there? 

What if the outcome we get helps us see more clearly something we need to learn or do differently for ourselves? What if it’s a way for us to give ourselves more grace, compassion, and to become even more of who we’re meant to be?

If the Universe (or God or whatever Higher Power you believe in) has our back no matter what, then this outcome is happening FOR us. 

It can be challenging to see that in the moments of deep disappointment, but once we’re able to be with, acknowledge, and process the disappointment (sometimes along with grief, loss, hurt, etc.) and have it move through and out of us, we can have more clarity in thinking about the outcome we received. What are we learning from this experience? 

The Universe gives us what we need to grow and evolve—which is not always what we think we want. And, my friends, this is a good thing. Are you open to seeing it that way?

Your turn: Are you open to allowing yourself to feel and process disappointment when an outcome doesn’t turn out the way you wanted? If you can dive deeper, what else are you making the outcome mean? When you’ve processed the emotions, remember to ask, “How is this happening FOR me?” And are you willing to keep going until you have what you want?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Guilt-free rest and leisure?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Take your time.

I recently decided that I would take one day off a month to have ZERO plans for the day. No obligations or tasks on a to-do list and no one to see. Well, there is ONE plan and that plan is to commit to rest and leisure without guilt.

If the plan is to rest and have leisure time, then by following the plan, guilt has no need to be in the picture. 

If guilt does come around, we might be starting to think thoughts like, “I shouldn’t be doing this” or “I could be doing more productive things” or “People will think I’m indulgent.” 

If caring for ourselves is a value we have, why do we feel guilty for honoring and expressing one of our values? If we value integrity, we usually don’t feel guilty honoring and expressing our integrity. We can treat rest and leisure time as values that we want to honor and express, without guilt.

For my plan of one day a month, within that free time, I could do WHATEVER I want. I could stay in bed until 10am, just dozing and resting. I could read for an hour after lunch. I could go for a walk to the ocean. I could walk to the park and sit in the sun for the afternoon. Things that I don’t usually have the leisure time to do.

And if a whole day for rest and leisure seems unrealistic, commit to small chunks of planned rest and leisure throughout the month. Maybe one weekend morning is for sleeping in. Maybe one Tuesday evening is for reading on the couch with hot tea for 45 minutes. One Friday night for a quiet night in instead of going out.  

Rest and leisure are ways of taking care of ourselves. Commit to rest and leisure without guilt. 

Your turn: Does committing to rest and leisure seem unrealistic to you? Why? What options might you not be giving yourself to take a well-deserved break? What reasons are you telling yourself that you don’t deserve rest and leisure in your day, week, or month? How might you request support for creating the space to have some rest and leisure for yourself?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

What do you REALLY want?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Allow yourself to desire.

Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to tell the truth about what we REALLY want. 

We anticipate the feeling of disappointment ahead of time and think, “I’ll feel so disappointed if it doesn’t happen. I don’t want to feel disappointed, so I just won’t think about it.”

Is feeling disappointed a good reason to not allow ourselves to desire or want something? Disappointment is a vibration in our body that happens when we think something like, “It’s not happening,” or “This isn’t what I wanted,” or “It’s never going to work out.” 

Yes, disappointment is an uncomfortable feeling. If we know how to process our feelings, we can let disappointment flow through us instead of getting stuck. We can realize that as “bad” as disappointment feels, it is still just a vibration in our body that can pass through us if we allow it to. When we resist the feeling of disappointment is when it can seem stronger and more persistent than it needs to be. And what if we are willing to feel disappointed? It can stop being something scary to avoid.

When we want something, not getting it or not having it happen is the worst case scenario. And for some reason, the worst case scenario is usually what we think about. 

But what if we allowed ourselves to give the BEST case scenario equal air time in our thoughts? What’s the best case scenario of our desire? That we get what we want. That what we want happens. 

What might it be like to allow ourselves to fully desire something? Without the “what if it doesn’t happen?” part? What would that feel like? 

I want to offer that it can feel empowering and tingly and even FUN to allow ourselves to fully desire something. And who says the best case scenario won’t happen?

Your turn: What are you not allowing yourself to fully desire? Why? What might you create in your life if you allowed yourself to fully desire something? Are you open to playing with that idea?

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What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.