Create vs. Consume

What do you create?

We all consume many things – the news, social media posts, streaming shows, movies, podcasts, books, articles, emails, food, drinks, learning courses, material items like clothing, etc. 

What I’ve learned through my life coach school is the importance of CREATING from what we consume. And to balance, as much as possible, what we consume with what we create in our lives.

For example, when I listen to (consume) podcasts, sometimes I get great ideas for content that I want to write about. Or I hear a great life hack that I implement into my life. Or I hear about a concept or idea I want to talk about with a friend. 

We can count these as creating! Literally, creating new content when I write about an idea. But also, implementing the life hack into my life is creating, and talking to a friend about an interesting concept is creating – I’m doing something new with the information I consume. 

It’s similar when we watch a show or movie and want to talk about it with someone – we’re creating a conversation and processing ideas we’ve consumed. Or when we read a book to join a book club and dive deeper into the ideas with others. Or when a social issue we see on the news or on social media moves us to take action. 

All of this can be considered creating and we can do this with almost any type of media we consume. And some people may be moved to create actual art when they consume media – but we don’t have to be artists to create something to share with others, though we do see a lot of wonderful art on social media and elsewhere by people who’ve created it!

This isn’t to say that with EVERYthing we consume, we need to create something as well. But we can start to become aware of how we’re consuming and whether or not we’re creating – or wanting to create – from what we consume.

We can become imbalanced in consuming if all we’re doing is collecting data points and not necessarily doing anything with them. We can also overwhelm and exhaust ourselves with information this way – along with consuming other THINGS as well. What happens when we over-consume food, alcohol, or material items? We may unintentionally create unhealthy bodies and environments for ourselves.

Part of self-care is intentionally creating healthy environments for ourselves. We want to be mindful about what we put into these environments and about what we consume. If we don’t like the way we feel after reading, watching, listening to, eating/drinking, or buying something, we can just notice that. 

If it’s something we have a direct choice to NOT read, watch, listen to, eat/drink, or buy, we can inquire with ourselves about whether we want to do that again or keep doing it. We can start to be more aware and intentional about what we’re consuming and whether or not we’re creating what we want in our lives. 

Your turn: What do you value consuming? Why do you value it? What do you want to create more of in your life? What can you create for yourself through some of the things you consume? 

If the ideas I share resonate with you but you’re not sure how to implement them to change your life, book an exploratory session with me to see what’s possible!

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

When you “don’t got” this

That’s OK.

How many of us have said to others or have had it said to us, “You got this!”? Or how many times have we said to ourselves, “I got this!”? 

Sometimes that phrase can be an energizing, motivating way to support someone else or ourselves. Sometimes we need to hear it to get a nudge of confidence or determination to do something hard. 

And sometimes, the most supportive thing we can tell ourselves is the truth, “I DON’T got this.”

It might be a hard truth to hear for some of us who are used to figuring it out no matter what or pushing through it all the time. 

But try it out. Let it sink in. “I don’t got this.” 

How does it feel to say that? Maybe to admit that?

Maybe it doesn’t feel realistic because it’s not really true right now. Maybe it doesn’t feel supportive. Maybe it feels icky. Why?

Or maybe it feels like relief. Maybe it feels like a revelation. Maybe it feels responsible. 

When we can allow ourselves to think or say, “I don’t got this,” we are allowing ourselves to tell the truth in some aspect of our lives that might feel daunting or overwhelming. Sometimes our lives can feel that way because we are human beings living in a world that we mostly can’t control.

If we can admit to ourselves, “I don’t got this,” a helpful next thing to ask is, “What do I need?”

Our brains like to find answers, so asking “What do I need?” gives our brain a job to do. The answer might be:

  • “Let it be for now” or
  • “I think I need to talk to someone” or
  • “I think I need to ask John for help” or 
  • “I think I need to ask Susie for help too” or
  • “I think I need to slow down” or
  • “I think I need to cry it out”

Or whatever the answer might be, listen and allow. 

It doesn’t mean we give up and we’ll never “got this” again. It means right now, we need some extra support – either from ourselves or from others who we trust to help or support us in a way that works for all involved.

Your turn: Where in your life do you “don’t got” this right now? Are you willing to admit that to yourself and have it be OK for now? Are you open to seeing what you need to move forward? How would you like to support yourself in this?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

When you believe new things

Possibility drop.

I talked about today’s topic in my most recent podcast episode as well – “Episode 9: Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life.” You can check it out here: Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube.

Do you know that we can create new outcomes in our lives with the thoughts that we think? It may seem more complex than that, but really, all new things come from ideas, which are thoughts.

And we know from our coaching model that our thoughts are what create our feelings. Our feelings are powerful drivers of our actions. And our actions create the results we get in our lives. 

When we want to create something in our lives, sometimes we need to have new beliefs about what’s possible. Beliefs are just thoughts that we’ve thought over and over again and now we believe they are true. 

Some beliefs are very useful to us. And some beliefs create limits within us and prevent us from doing things.

Some limiting beliefs might be:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I just don’t have the confidence.
  • I’m not talented enough.
  • I could never do that.
  • People don’t understand me.
  • All the good ones are taken.
  • I won’t ever be successful.
  • I hate my body.

It’s important to see that what we might think of as OBSERVATIONS about ourselves are actually BELIEFS about ourselves. If they’re limiting beliefs, these things don’t need to be true about us.

Once we’re aware of limiting beliefs we hold, we might feel the need to change them right away to their exact opposites—things that we DO want to believe. 

But if we take too big of a leap, we’ll have a thought that we don’t yet believe. And that thought won’t help us because we don’t believe it yet, no matter how many times we may repeat it during the day. 

So how do we get to the new belief we want to have that seems so far from our current belief? We practice thoughts that bridge us or ladder us to the next level of thinking.

As an example, let’s take the starting thought “I hate my body.” 

The goal thought might be “I love my body.” But it’s hard to jump from hate to love right away. 

Here are some potential ladder thoughts from the starting thought of “I hate my body” to the goal thought “I love my body”

(Note: this list is in the opposite direction of a ladder for visual purposes. See the accompanying image for what a thought ladder looks like visually. You can download your blank worksheet copy here! Use the password: AYHLC):

  • Starting thought: I hate my body.
  • I have a body.
  • There are other people with bodies like mine.
  • Other people with bodies like mine seem to like their bodies.
  • It’s possible that I could like my body.
  • My body has the potential to change and be healthier.
  • I am living my life because of my body.
  • My body allows me to do things I enjoy.
  • I am learning to enjoy being in my body.
  • I am learning to love my body.
  • Goal thought: I love my body.

We may need to practice each ladder thought for a couple days, a week, two weeks, etc. before moving on to the next one. Until we truly believe the thought we are practicing, it’s important to stay with it before moving on to the next one.

Our thoughts are powerful. We can learn to create beliefs that empower us instead of disempower us. 

Your turn: What are some of the limiting thoughts/beliefs you hold? What are some goal thoughts/beliefs that you’d like to have instead? Explore and practice some ladder thoughts that can help you get to your goal thoughts. 
Need help exploring some ladder thoughts? Sign up for an exploratory session here.

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Is judging yourself working?

Self-compassion instead.

How does our self-compassion motivate us differently than our self-judgment?

Most of us are used to judging or punishing ourselves into action. This might sound like: 

  • “I’m so fat, I need to workout extra hard today.” 
  • “I’m such a loser, I have to figure out how to make more money.” 
  • “My life sucks, I need to find a partner.” 
  • “I’m a mess, I have to get this right.”
  • “I’m not where I want to be in life. What’s wrong with me?”

Whatever it is, we think mean things about ourselves in order to “motivate” us to do what we think we need to do in order to feel better about ourselves. “If I stop beating myself up, if I accept myself the way I am, I’ll get complacent and lazy, and never change.” 

We think we need to beat ourselves up in order to take helpful actions. We might be in a rush to get “over there” because we think that’s when we’ll feel better about ourselves. Beating ourselves up may have gotten us results in the past, but at what cost to our relationship with ourselves?

When we have a self-judging narrative, everything we do can feel punishing:

  • Instead of seeing a healthy plate of food that will nourish our body, we see a restrictive, limited diet
  • Instead of doing a workout and celebrating what our body can do, we see it as a way to punish ourselves for “not eating right”
  • Instead of staying happy in a new relationship, we find ways to prove that we’re not worthy of happiness
  • Instead of acknowledging where we ARE in life, we think something’s wrong with us for not being “farther ahead” (compared to who or what?)
  • Instead of celebrating our awareness of how we negatively talk to ourselves, we beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up!

Kindness, love, and respect for ourselves doesn’t start when we hit a certain goal of ours. 

In fact, when we do hit that goal without doing the work of self-compassion and acceptance, the reward will likely be temporary and we might still not like ourselves the way we thought we would when we finally get “over there” by hitting that goal. It’s because achieving goals doesn’t create our feelings. Our thoughts create our feelings. 

Kindness, love, and respect for ourselves can start right now, exactly as we are. 

Decide that that’s possible. 

When we have compassion and acceptance for ourselves exactly as we are at this time, we can start making the changes we want to see in our lives from a place of care, love, and patience. 

It’s about our relationship with ourselves. So that in the long-run, we are where we want to be with ourselves and in our lives, loving and accepting ourselves along the way. No matter what.

Your turn: Are you open to feeling accepting of yourself as you are? If not, what’s getting in the way? What are some of the self-judging thoughts you’re aware of? What are some self-compassionate thoughts you can have about yourself instead? What would happen today if you found some self-compassion for yourself in a situation where you usually beat yourself up?

Feeling challenged by finding more self-compassionate thoughts? Book an exploratory session here to build your self-compassion practice.

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

When it’s taking too long

We’re doing the work.

When we’ve been doing the work of growing and expanding ourselves through personal growth and development, sometimes we may think, “I should know this already. I should be better at this. Why am I still reacting this way? Why is this still hard for me?”

Why, my friends? Because we are human beings with human brains.  

Just because we know the work, the tools involved, and the ways of thinking that can benefit us, doesn’t mean we no longer have human emotions and human experiences. That we no longer have to do the work. 

We learn the tools and beneficial ways of thinking in order to help us navigate our human experience on purpose, consciously and deliberately, with compassion and grace for ourselves and others. 

There isn’t a point where we get to stop doing the work—unless we choose to be stagnant and stay exactly where we are. It’s possible to do that, but also as human beings, it’s unlikely that we’ll want to choose that for ourselves.

We will always get to do the work. And that’s not a “bad” thing. It means that we’re continuing to expand ourselves and grow beyond where we currently are. That we want to be even more of who we are becoming.  

Our primitive brains evolved to want to be efficient (to do “easy” things), to avoid pain, and to seek pleasure to help us survive. 

When we’re wanting to live a fulfilled life where we’re not just surviving but thriving, we can’t always choose the easy things, we will likely be uncomfortable facing new situations and experiences, and we will delay immediate pleasure/gratification in order to attain our long-term well-being. 

So we do the work in order to overcome our primitive brains and utilize our sophisticated brains (our prefrontal cortex) to their fullest potential. 

Some thoughts for helping us continue doing the work:

  • I’m getting better at processing my emotions.
  • This is still hard for me, and that’s okay.
  • I’m learning something from this and that’s why I don’t already know better.
  • I’m reacting this way and catching myself instead of being unaware.
  • My awareness is helping me through this.
  • I can see that I’m learning and growing through this challenging experience.

The work is always here. No matter how much we know, we don’t get to escape the work. And it’s worth it to see who we become.

Your turn: Are you willing to keep doing the work to become the version of yourself that you want to be? Instead of thinking “This is taking too long,” are you willing to process and be with your feelings for as long as it takes? Are you open to remembering that you always have a choice to do the work or to not do it, and to confront the consequences depending on what you choose?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Presence stealer

Do you do this?

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the ways we try to escape from ourselves and our lives. In order to take care of ourselves, we need to be present for ourselves. We need to know what’s going on with us. We need to be able to tell the truth about what’s going on for us. We need to be present for ourselves exactly where we are.

Another way that we might routinely “leave” ourselves is by comparing what’s going on in our lives to what we think our lives “should” look like.

When we compare and despair, it’s hard to remain present with WHAT IS. 

It’s tempting to think that an idealized version of our lives is better than where we actually are right now. I call that “there vs. here” thinking. We might think:

  • “Once I get that promotion, I’ll finally feel satisfied.”
  • “When I find my perfect partner, I’ll feel worthy and complete.”
  • “Once I’ve lost the extra weight, I’ll love myself more.”
  • “When my business is up and running, I’ll feel successful.”
  • “Once we have kids, our marriage will be more fulfilling.”

We can get focused on “there” and forget about being here in the present moment. And when we place a lot of weight on getting “there,” we may be disappointed once we are “there” and we still don’t feel satisfied, worthy, loving, successful, or fulfilled. 

This is not to say that we shouldn’t have a vision of what we want for ourselves and our lives. 

But when we place so much responsibility on the future for the way we want to FEEL, we forget that we’re responsible for the way we’re feeling right now, here in the PRESENT. 

We forget to be present for ourselves where we are, for our life where it is. Being “here” and appreciating what we have “here” is valuable and important in getting us “there.” In fact, to create the future we’d like to have, we need to appreciate what we DO have now.

“Being aware of the present moment simply means you never believe the illusion that the future is going to be better than what is going on right now.” – Mateo Tabatabai, The Mind-Made Prison

Your turn: What’s good about right now? (I can breathe, I’m working at a job that pays me, I have clothes to wear, I have eyes that can read these words. . .)  What can you appreciate about you and your life exactly as you are, exactly as it is? What do you feel when you think those thoughts?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Managing negative self-talk

Practices to try.

When I was first embarking on my self-care journey and figuring out what self-care meant and looked like for me, I had some help along the way.

I received ideas from my therapist, the books I read, workshops I attended, and my holistic life coaching program. I created the 3 Pillars of Transformative Self-Care. One of the three pillars is how we speak to and about ourselves. 

Many of us have a habit of negative self-talk that we might not even be aware of. Some of us are aware of it, but don’t know what to do about it. Today, I’m sharing three helpful practices around how we speak to and about ourselves, in case they’re helpful to you, where you’re at.

If you have any specific area you’re working on in your life and would like a relevant practice for that, please let me know here and I’ll share the requests and responses/practices in future emails. 

Practice #1

I used to race through my days and not pause to check-in with myself. I didn’t even know that checking-in with myself was an option, or something that could be helpful to me. But checking-in with ourselves is a powerful reminder that we matter, that what we’re feeling and needing is important.

To check-in with yourself, you can ask, “What am I feeling? When I feel this way, what do I need? What is the kindest thing I can do for myself in this moment?”  

Practice #2

Most of us are very busy seeking approval from outside of ourselves so we try to do all the things – and we exhaust ourselves or think we don’t have time for self-care because we’re so “busy” all the time. We forget – or don’t even recognize – that our own approval of ourselves matters the most. Because we can’t control what other people think about us, no matter how much we DO, or the circumstances that grant us approval. WE are the only guarantee of approval when we seek it. So why not practice accepting our own approval?

We can do this by practicing the affirmation or mantra, “I approve of myself.” Repeat multiple times daily.

Practice #3

I’ve shared this practice before, but it’s worth repeating because of its power. This is mirror work. 

  • – Stand in front of a mirror.
  • – Look yourself in the eyes.
  • – Say “thank you” to yourself.
  • – What do you feel when you do that? Is it easy? Hard? Comforting? Uncomfortable? Cringey? Why? 
  • – Practice at least twice a day until you feel comfortable saying “thank you” to yourself – where you accept your own thanks, smile, and feel good while doing it.

This practice helps us appreciate ourselves and to value what we see in the mirror when we stand in front of it.

All of these practices can support us in caring for ourselves more by helping us connect to ourselves and remember that we matter, that we are valuable, that we are worthy of self-care.

Your turn: Pick one practice to engage with this week. Next week, choose another one. Make one up for yourself, if that feels good to you. These are ways you can quiet the negative self-talk and strengthen the compassionate, supportive self-talk, so that you can start caring for yourself even more. 

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

An easy way to care for yourself

Even more.

One of the ways I started taking better care of myself was through thinking about my Future Self and what she would appreciate. 

It’s easy to do or not do something in the moment for reasons of instant gratification. But would your Future Self appreciate that action?

Here are some examples:

When faced with washing the dishes in my kitchen sink, would my Future Self appreciate the instant gratification of my Current Self leaving dishes in the sink for her to wash the next day? (Sometimes I DO choose to leave the dishes for the next day – on days when I know I don’t have to rush out of the house first thing in the morning. Then I DO have time to do them in the morning. But if I leave them there the night before a long day, I know I won’t be able to wash them until I get home later the next evening. And by that time, I might be too tired and there goes another day with dishes in the sink. In that case, my Future Self would appreciate me washing the dishes sooner rather than later.)

Would my Future Self appreciate me spending an hour scrolling on social media at night when I could be sleeping earlier or reading instead? I think my Future Self would appreciate some extra sleep or making progress in the book I’m reading.

Would my Future Self appreciate me skipping my morning workout routine today? What would be the consequences of that? If I’m sick or in pain, that’s a different story. My Current Self would appreciate it greatly if I skipped my morning workout routine today. My Future Self might also appreciate it, if it means that I rest and recover more quickly instead of pushing myself and prolonging the pain or sickness.

Would my Future Self appreciate me giving in to the urge to text someone who is better for me NOT to text in the moment? Probably not, because she would have to deal with the consequences of feeling anxious, waiting to hear back, receiving a message that she doesn’t want to hear, or engaging in ways that are unhealthy for her. 

Would my Future Self appreciate me eating another helping of food when I want to lose weight? No, because she’s the one who will be frustrated that her body weight isn’t changing and “nothing” is working. Even though it might meet my Current Self’s need for instant gratification, it will delay my Future Self’s desire for a more healthy weight and well-being. 

In thinking about our Future Self, what we’re doing TODAY contributes to what and who our Future Self will be, do, and have. 

Today, if we don’t overeat, we are taking care of our tomorrow Future Self who won’t feel lethargic and guilty for overeating. 

Today, if we spend an hour working on the report, we are taking care of our next-week Future Self who won’t need to scramble at the last minute to finish the report.

Today, if we decide to finally leave the toxic relationship we’re in, we are taking care of our 6-month later Future Self who is in a healthier relationship with themself (or even someone else). 

Today, if we create a monthly payment plan to pay off our debt and choose on each of the following months to stick with the plan, we are taking care of our one-year later Future Self who no longer has debt. 

We get to decide today with our actions how we are taking care of our Future Self. 

Your turn: What will you decide to do today to take care of your Future Self tomorrow? What about your Future Self in a week? In a month? In a year?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Is it selfish?

You get to decide.

Over the weekend, I attended the Kidpower International 35 year anniversary conference in Healdsburg, California. I’ve been part of Kidpower since 2002 and for this conference, people in the Kidpower community gathered from many places around the world, including Argentina, Ecuador, Guatemala, Mexico, New Zealand, Nepal, Vietnam, Pakistan, Montreal, Germany, Sweden, Russia, and Iran, and from various places within the U.S. We gathered together to learn, connect, and celebrate. I felt a strong sense of community and shared values.

At the conference, I made a presentation about Transformative Self-Care and received a question that I want to write about today: “What is the difference between self-care and being selfish?” 

This is an important question – and it might also contribute to being an obstacle for some of us to engage in our own self-care practice. If we see self-care as selfish and we don’t want to view ourselves as “selfish,” then the cognitive dissonance will get in the way. 

One conference participant shared a new concept: self-fullness vs. selfishness. I appreciated that idea! It’s like being mindful about ourselves by being self-full of what we need to for ourselves.

A question came to me that felt very powerful as well: 

Is it selfish to take care of ourselves if doing so helps us continue contributing to and taking care of others? 

When put that way, I don’t see the selfishness. I see someone who is prioritizing themselves so that they can continue to actively contribute to others and to the world. 

When we are depleted and worn down, contributing to others can feel like a burden. But when we are taken care of and filled up by our own efforts to care for ourselves, contributing to others can feel more joyful and desirable. 

Your turn: You get to decide – is it selfish to take care of yourself so that you can continue taking care of others and contributing in ways that feel good to you? 

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Get out of your own way

How?

Are you getting in your own way? If so, what does that look like for you?

It might look like feeling stuck in a life that you know could be better or different. It could be staying at a “safe” job because you feel too scared to pursue something you could really love. It might be not losing 20 pounds because “dieting has never worked for you.” It could be staying in a “situation-ship” because you don’t believe you’ll find someone better. It could be that you’re burning yourself out at work because you’re not setting boundaries.

For me, I got in my own way by:

  • – Letting other people define my value and worth
  • – Hustling for worthiness (trying to DO all the things to prove my worthiness)
  • – Wanting someone to “save” me from my “mediocre” life
  • – Not setting boundaries
  • – Ignoring my body
  • – Flaking on myself
  • – Lying to myself and others, aka people-pleasing
  • – Thinking I wasn’t good enough
  • – Not asking for help
  • – Thinking I needed to have it all figured out

I used to seek approval from external sources. This is a losing game because we can never get enough approval if we only seek it from outside ourselves. Other people and things can be unreliable in providing us with approval. The way to fulfill this need for approval is to give it to ourselves.

Recognizing that, these are some ways I practice getting out of my own way:

  • – Asking myself, “What brings me joy?”
  • – Taking responsibility for my life and emotions
  • – Setting boundaries in multiple areas of my life
  • – Connecting with my body, listening to it, honoring it
  • – Being kinder to myself
  • – Keeping commitments to myself
  • – Paying attention to my thoughts
  • – Allowing all the feelings – be willing to feel any feeling
  • – Telling the truth to myself, then to others
  • – Having my own back
  • – Loving myself no matter what
  • – Practice, practice, practice

Some of these things might sound familiar because they are things I’ve talked about and shared with you in the past through these weekly posts. 🙂

AND, I’m excited to announce: to dive deeper and learn more about getting out of your own way, you can tune in to my new show, “Get Out of Your Own Way” on Transformation Talk Radio!

My show premieres today, April 4th, at 3:30pm Pacific time! You can catch it by going here.

My show will also be available as a podcast on all the platforms where you listen to podcasts. Stay tuned!



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What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.