Tag: impossible

What your Future Self knows

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s happening.

Many of us are used to looking to our past to determine what our future could be. 

We may think, “Well, I’ve only made $75,000 a year before, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make more than that” or “I’ve never lost 30 pounds before, so I don’t know if I can do it” or just “I haven’t done that before, so I probably can’t do it.”

When we really look at those thoughts, it’s almost silly that we’d think them. Just because we haven’t done something before doesn’t mean that we’ll likely be unable to do it. That’s just an easy excuse, a way to shut out possibility. 

If we’re basing what’s possible on our past, then yes, we will only be able to see what’s possible based on what we’ve already done. 

But if we want to go beyond what we’ve done before, we need to look to our future and keep our focus there. 

But what gets in the way now of achieving seemingly impossible goals? 

We may be able to make a list of “things” that get in the way, but really, it’s mostly just our thoughts. Which create feelings. Like fear, doubt, defeat. Ahead of time.

Remember, thoughts create our feelings, feelings drive our actions, and our actions (or inactions) produce the results we get. 

So let’s think thoughts that create the feelings: determined, focused, excited, passionate.

Our Future Self believes in what’s possible.

Our Future Self knows that they can do it.

Our Future Self is living the dream—has made the money, lost the weight, stopped drinking, has the partner, feels good. 

So instead of thinking thoughts that create obstacles towards our goals and the feeling of “defeated” ahead of time, we can choose thoughts that create momentum and the feeling of “determined.” 

What does our Future Self who’s already achieved the goal think and feel? Let’s start thinking some of those thoughts. Let’s start feeling some of those feelings.

When we choose intentional thoughts on purpose about what’s possible for us, we get to feel the intentional feelings created by those thoughts. Then we get to be intentional with our actions and inactions. And ultimately, we can create the results we want.

Your turn: What do you want to create in your life and why? What would you get to believe and think about yourself when you achieve that goal? What would you get to feel when you achieve that goal? What if those thoughts and feelings are all available for you to believe and feel about yourself right now? Guess what? They are.

Why haven’t you done that yet?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s a matter of belief.

What do we believe we can do? Why? 

I recently read a book called The Story of You by Steve Chandler. In one part of the book, he talks about possibility and what we believe is possible for ourselves. I’ll share this passage because I think it’s very revealing:

“What do we now really have the power to do? 

Let’s start here, then: we do what we believe we can do.

Isn’t that right?

Don’t we wake up each day and do what we believe is possible to do? If we didn’t think it was possible, why would we waste time doing it? Or even thinking about doing it? If I don’t believe it’s possible for me to play for the Phoenix Suns, I’m not going to pencil in a try-out on my daily calendar. I’m not even going to think about it. We simply ignore things we don’t think are possible.

So Step One in the failure of the human being to achieve his or her potential is that the human being only does what he believes he can do. 

Failure Step Two is this: we only believe we can do what we’ve done before.

Is that not true? How else do I really believe I can do something? The surest and most common way is to remember that I have done it before. So I say to myself, ‘I can do this. I’ve done this before.’

But this grim two-step doesn’t leave much room for growth. If I only do what I believe I can do—and I only believe I can do what I’ve done before—then I’m kind of stuck, aren’t I? My only possibilities for today are to do what I’ve done before. Isn’t that why most people keep repeating their habits, day after day after day? They find their wheel. They get on it. And go around.”

. . . . .

I used to think it would be impossible for me to fast for 24 hours–even though I fast for 14-16 hours a day on a regular basis. Those 8-10 hours more seemed unreachable.

But then a few months ago, I decided to go all-in and believe that I could do a 24-hour fast anyway. I wanted to see what those additional 8-10 hours of fasting would be like. I wanted to find out if it was possible for me to do it when I decided to believe that I could. I made it an exploration to see what would come up for me: how I would feel physically, what I would think mentally, what I would tell myself, how many times I would want to give up.

I was open to whatever came up for me and I was committed to making it to the 24-hour mark no matter what. I would let myself feel hungry. I would let myself think it was hard. I would let myself feel deprived. By hour 22, I was very aware of how close I was to hour 24. But when the 24th hour approached, I was surprised I wasn’t ravenous and even went 30 minutes more past the 24 hour mark. 

So I did it and discovered something: fasting for 24 hours wasn’t impossible for me like I thought it was. And after I did it once, the fact that I had done it and that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I was willing to do it again. Since last July, I’ve done about five 24-hour fasts. But before July, I hadn’t done one ever before (maybe besides being sick with the flu, but that wasn’t on purpose) because I didn’t think it was possible. Now I know it is. 

If I was able to do something I used to believe wasn’t possible for me, what else is possible for me to do once I change my belief about it? Once I decide to go all-in and attempt it? 

Your turn: What do you limit yourself from achieving in your life by believing it’s impossible for you? What would happen if you tried it? Like really go all-in and believe that you can do it and then attempt it? What would happen for you then?

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Are you struggling to make healthy changes?

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes your brain gets in the way.

Why is it so hard sometimes to make changes in our lives that have long-term benefits?

Because of how our brains have evolved. The prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain that makes us human. It can plan and think about what it’s thinking about. Our primal, lower brain is the same brain that animals have. It wants to be efficient, avoid pain, and seek pleasure–the Motivational Triad.

Change is new and different. We’re not used to doing new things. So the primal brain doesn’t get to be efficient when we’re implementing changes. It wants to go back to doing what it knows how to do and what it’s already good at doing. The easy stuff that we’ve been doing, which isn’t getting us the results we want in our lives.

When we’re making changes in our lives, we’re usually also experiencing discomfort. Whether it’s because we’re waking up earlier, eating less sugar, drinking less alcohol, feeling deprived, moving our bodies more, or spending less money. We’ve been used to the instant gratification, which is what the brain likes–the seeking of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Doing these new things doesn’t give us instant gratification. But it will give us long-term benefits.

How do we push past the discomfort? It’s not by using willpower. It goes back to processing and allowing feelings. And to using our prefrontal cortex.

We use our prefrontal cortex to make plans to implement long-term change. But our primal brain likes to try to override these plans because it wants to be efficient, avoid pain, and seek pleasure. So we make a plan first—and know that the primal brain will try to impose.

If we want to stop overeating, we decide 24 hours ahead of time what we’re going to eat and eat only that.

If we want to stop overdrinking, we decide 24 hours ahead of time how many drinks we’re going to have and have only that.

If we want to stop overspending, we decide 24 hours ahead of time how much we’ll spend and spend only that.

The primal brain will create urges. So when we have an urge to overeat, we have to allow that urge to be there and feel it. Usually the urge will pass if we’re not fighting against it.

When we have an urge to buy something new, we allow it the urge to be there and feel it. And let it pass and stick to our spending plan.

When we have an urge to do anything that deviates from our plan, we allow that urge and let it pass without fighting it or thinking we need to answer that urge.

It might seem impossible. But once you start practicing allowing urges, it can become easier.

Your turn: Think about the last time you did something that seemed impossible for you to do. But then you decided to do it and you did it. When you actually did it, what did you think of it afterwards? The fact that you did it probably felt gratifying and instilled the confidence that you could do it again if you wanted to. What would happen if you made a plan 24 hours in advance and allowed an urge to be there without answering it? How would doing that bring you closer to the results you want in your life?

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