The version of you that got you here

May 1, 2025 ~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Thank you.

There comes a point in growth—especially the deep, inner kind—where you realize that the version of you who got you here… can’t take you any further.

It’s not because that version of you was wrong or broken.
It’s because that version of you was surviving.
And now, you’re ready to live, to thrive—not just survive.

Maybe that version of you said yes when you meant no. Stayed quiet to avoid conflict. Took care of others instead of yourself. Adapted to be liked. Shrunk to feel safe.

That version of you worked so hard to keep you connected. To make things work. To protect you.

And they did. That version of you got you through.

But now, there’s a new version of you wanting to emerge. One who tells the truth. One who makes space for themself. One who doesn’t apologize for what they want.

Letting go of the old you doesn’t mean rejecting that “you.” It means thanking that “you.”

Thank you for getting me this far.
Thank you for trying so hard to keep me safe.
I’ve got it from here.

Letting go can feel like grief. It can feel like fear.
But on the other side of it? Freedom. Alignment. Peace. Connection.

You are allowed to grow into someone who no longer needs to shrink, pretend, or prove.

You’re ready. You got this.

Your Turn:

What version of you are you outgrowing?
Can you thank that version of you for what they did to get you this far?
What might it look like to step into the next version of yourself—one who leads with truth, care, and trust in yourself?

Choose discomfort?

February 27, 2025 ~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Your new currency.

Why is it so hard to make changes in our lives, even when we know they will benefit us?

Because change requires discomfort—and our brains are wired to avoid it.

We make changes because we recognize that our current habits, routines, or mindsets aren’t fully aligned with who we want to become. It’s not that who we are right now is “wrong” or “not good enough.” It’s simply that we know we’re capable of more. We know we can grow.

Making changes is an act of self-care. We choose to eat healthier, deepen relationships, find more fulfilling work, or be more present in our lives—not because we’re trying to “fix” ourselves, but because we care about the person we are becoming.

At first, change feels exciting. We’re motivated, thinking, I can do this. This feels good.

But then … it gets hard.

The discomfort sets in. We feel resistance. Our brain urges us to return to what’s easy, comfortable, and familiar—even if that old comfort is exactly why we wanted to change in the first place.

We think:
🔹 I don’t feel like it today.
🔹 I’ll just scroll for a few more minutes.

🔹 It won’t make a difference anyway.
🔹 I miss him so much—maybe I’ll just text him.

These urges pull us back to comfort. But if we keep answering them, we’ll never pass through the hard part.

So let it be hard—and keep going anyway.

Discomfort is the price we pay for growth. The more we allow it, the closer we get to real transformation. When we stick to the plan, sit with the discomfort, and honor our commitment to ourselves, something shifts.

What once felt impossible becomes second nature. The habit becomes part of who we are. The future version of you is waiting. Are you willing to pay the price of some discomfort in the short term to get there?

Your Turn:

Are you ready to stop flaking on yourself?
What would happen if you let it be hard or uncomfortable—and kept going anyway?
How would your life be different if the thing you’re struggling with now simply became part of who you are?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

“Decide to” in 2025

January 2, 2025 ~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Don’t just “want to.”

As we move into 2025, many of us are likely thinking about changes we want to make in our lives. Sometimes we have a long list of things we want to do or change. Sometimes we have just one, two, or three big things.

No matter what you have in mind, ask yourself this: Am I wanting to make these changes or am I deciding to make these changes?

Wanting to make changes is more like being interested in making the changes. When we want something, we have a desire or wish for something. It seems like a good idea. It doesn’t require any action to want something or be interested in something.

When we decide to do something, it requires us to follow through on a course of action. Deciding is saying, “OK, I’m going to do X” and that’s a pretty firm commitment. Commitment requires action.

How do you know if you just “want to” vs. “deciding to”? If you have some ideas of changes you’d like to make, think about each thing and see how it lines up with the “want to” or the “decide to” thoughts below.

“Want to” thoughts (you allow things to get in the way of your goal):

My boss gave me a tight deadline, so I can’t go to the gym today (goal is to exercise every day)
I’m too tired to meditate this morning (goal is to meditate every morning)
It’s too cold to go for a run today (goal is to run 4x a week)
I deserve to have this treat because my day was so stressful (goal is to eat less sugar)
I just finished a big project so I’m treating myself to a purchase (goal is to spend less)
I don’t feel like it today
This is too hard

“Decide to” thoughts (your goal is your priority):

I’m going to do this today no matter what
This is worth it even if it’s hard sometimes
I can do hard things
I’m choosing to make this a priority for me today
Even though it’s cold out, I’m still going to do it today
This is important to me so I’m going to stick with my plan

Your turn: What do you want to do or be better at in 2025? What new results do you want to create for yourself? Are you ready to decide what you’ll do to make changes in your life? What would happen if you don’t make the change(s) you say you want to make? What would happen and who would you become if you did make the changes you decide to make?

Best wishes to you for 2025!

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Satisfied or Afraid?

August 22, 2024 ~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

May you discern accurately.

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day and the episode (an older one from 2023) featured Michelle Obama talking about her book The Light We Carry.

The hosts and Michelle were talking about her parents and how they were content and deeply satisfied people. However, the potential downside of being deeply satisfied with life sometimes is stuckness or rigidness – a fear of being more and doing more, outside our comfort zone.

I interpreted this as meaning that we need to be able to discern between being content and satisfied with our lives versus being afraid to do new things, or to have or be more than we already are.

This felt powerful and revealing to me because I’ve recently been considering certain things in my life. Travel, for instance. I traveled a lot when I was in my mid-20’s and 30’s, and now I recognize that I have less of a desire to travel.

Part of this is because I enjoy being HOME now and reveling in the home space I’ve created for myself. Another part of me knows that it takes a lot of energy and planning to travel too, which, when I think about it, already feels exhausting (!). And another part of me feels resistant to the discomfort of being away from home, in new places, without the familiarity of the things I’m usually surrounded by.

Of course, there’s also excitement and adventure in being around new places, people, and things. I’ll be on the east coast for two weeks soon, and I’m feeling the anticipation of that – having a change of scenery and exploring new places, doing things outside of my routine.

I’ll be traveling internationally later this year too, to places that I haven’t been before. Yes, it does take energy and planning. Yes, it may be tiring and uncomfortable. But it will also be fun and exciting to explore, eat, and experience new things.

Because, could I be satisfied if I never got to travel anywhere again and just got to be HOME, like I enjoy? Maybe. But what would I be missing? Would I be missing out on growth opportunities? Experiencing things I wouldn’t otherwise get to experience? Yes. All because of a little fear of being uncomfortable.

And it had me questioning, WHERE ELSE in my life am I doing this? Where else in my life do I think I might be “satisfied” with how things are, but in reality, I’m actually just resistant to feeling some discomfort or feeling afraid to expand?

My life coach says, “Discomfort is the currency of growth.” And isn’t that TRUE? There is no growth without discomfort.

Ultimately, we get to decide if we’re satisfied or afraid. May we discern accurately.

Your turn: Where in your life might you think you’re “satisfied” but in actuality, you might be afraid to stretch yourself to be more, do more, or have more?

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When you invest in yourself

February 1, 2024 ~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Let’s go!

“Leap and the net will appear.” – John Burroughs

I recently decided to make a couple big investments in myself and my business. This year I’m deciding to put myself out there in bigger ways so I can reach more people and support them in their growth, in seeing what’s possible for themselves, in believing in themselves, and in achieving what they want – all while consistently caring for themselves.

By doing this, I too am seeing what’s possible for myself, stretching myself past who I already am and becoming an expanded version of myself. I want to see who I can become through this process. I know that no matter what the outcome, I will grow from going through this process.

And maybe that’s the whole point of having goals. Not only to achieve the goal, but to see who we can become by working towards the goal. In working towards the goal, we will be strengthening our belief in ourselves, we might be taking actions we’ve never taken before, and we might be feeling the discomfort of doing these new things, these hard things.

Then it doesn’t matter so much if we actually achieve the goal or not. Because we still get to be the person we’ve become from the effort we’ve exerted. That part doesn’t go away. That growth becomes part of us. We can take this version of ourselves to the next thing, and the next.

So I’m investing in myself. I’m betting on myself. I’m putting myself out there and taking on new opportunities, saying yes to things, and most importantly, believing in myself to make it all work out. To have my back, to make aligned decisions, to trust in myself, and to expand my capacity. And so I’m also creating the net with the belief I have in myself.

I could have just stayed in my current situation and not taken the leap. My current situation is “safe” and familiar, but it doesn’t require more of me. Now, I get to rise up to a level I haven’t been at before.

And that requires a lot of me – growth-wise and creativity-wise. And I’m up for the challenge. I’m willing to be a little scared and uncomfortable for a while, I’m willing to see what’s possible. I’m willing to go all-in on myself and to bet on ME. It might not always be easy and fun, and that’s OK. I trust myself to come through for me.

How do we make sure we take the actions needed to support ourselves? We create the feelings we need to fuel those actions. How do we create the feelings? We think the thoughts that create those feelings.

Right now, I’m thinking “I’m going all-in on myself. I believe in what I have to offer. I’ll do what I need to do – and even have fun while doing it! Let’s see what happens.” And all those thoughts create the feelings: determined, focused, excited, curious, confident, motivated, playful. And I’ll take actions based on those feelings.

Investing in ourselves is caring for ourselves, and also caring for our future selves. Our future selves will be so grateful for the work we’re doing now.

Your turn: What do you want for yourself that you’re willing to go all-in on and bet on yourself to make happen? What would you need to think and believe? What would you need to feel? And what actions would you take (or not take) to get the result you want? Who will you become along the way?

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