Tag: gratitude

The version of you that got you here

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Thank you.

There comes a point in growth—especially the deep, inner kind—where you realize that the version of you who got you here… can’t take you any further.

It’s not because that version of you was wrong or broken.
It’s because that version of you was surviving.
And now, you’re ready to live, to thrive—not just survive.

Maybe that version of you said yes when you meant no. Stayed quiet to avoid conflict. Took care of others instead of yourself. Adapted to be liked. Shrunk to feel safe.

That version of you worked so hard to keep you connected. To make things work. To protect you.

And they did. That version of you got you through.

But now, there’s a new version of you wanting to emerge. One who tells the truth. One who makes space for themself. One who doesn’t apologize for what they want.

Letting go of the old you doesn’t mean rejecting that “you.” It means thanking that “you.”

Thank you for getting me this far.
Thank you for trying so hard to keep me safe.
I’ve got it from here.

Letting go can feel like grief. It can feel like fear.
But on the other side of it? Freedom. Alignment. Peace. Connection.

You are allowed to grow into someone who no longer needs to shrink, pretend, or prove.

You’re ready. You got this.

Your Turn:

  • What version of you are you outgrowing?
  • Can you thank that version of you for what they did to get you this far?
  • What might it look like to step into the next version of yourself—one who leads with truth, care, and trust in yourself?

Rise Stronger

firebird
~ The Healing Modalities ~ 1 Comment

And so, I crept on the ground

Small and insignificant

Curled myself 

Into myself

For so long

Accepted crumbs off the loaf 

I didn’t know how to deserve

For so long

Until my body took the lead

Over my mind

Reflected the weakness within

That became the weakness without

Shutting down systems of organs

A blood poisoned betrayal

For so long

Intruding upon and invading 

A worn down heart gasps

Sustenance, sustenance, sustenance

Anesthesia flows through vessels

Soul floats above unconscious body

For so long

Eleven hours cracked open

Reparation of my heart 

Fueled revolution of my life

Broken down, built back up

Cradled, shaped and molded, slowly

For so long

Until, until I rise strong 

A firebird hatched, vulnerable and new

Learning to spread wings wide

Lifting up, up to the sky 

In creation and celebration 

Say goodbye to the life lived so small

Grieve and mourn what can no longer be

Praise and give gratitude for something more

That is me

Reflected back to me

I see my value now, self-worth that was

For so long

Pushed down inside, rise

Rise strong

And I feel you getting near

Asking me to know my value

My worth

Before you can know it too

And I do, I do

I revel now in my revelation

Believing that I deserve the whole loaf

Receive it even with honey butter   

Presence stealer

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Do you do this?

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the ways we try to escape from ourselves and our lives. In order to take care of ourselves, we need to be present for ourselves. We need to know what’s going on with us. We need to be able to tell the truth about what’s going on for us. We need to be present for ourselves exactly where we are.

Another way that we might routinely “leave” ourselves is by comparing what’s going on in our lives to what we think our lives “should” look like.

When we compare and despair, it’s hard to remain present with WHAT IS. 

It’s tempting to think that an idealized version of our lives is better than where we actually are right now. I call that “there vs. here” thinking. We might think:

  • “Once I get that promotion, I’ll finally feel satisfied.”
  • “When I find my perfect partner, I’ll feel worthy and complete.”
  • “Once I’ve lost the extra weight, I’ll love myself more.”
  • “When my business is up and running, I’ll feel successful.”
  • “Once we have kids, our marriage will be more fulfilling.”

We can get focused on “there” and forget about being here in the present moment. And when we place a lot of weight on getting “there,” we may be disappointed once we are “there” and we still don’t feel satisfied, worthy, loving, successful, or fulfilled. 

This is not to say that we shouldn’t have a vision of what we want for ourselves and our lives. 

But when we place so much responsibility on the future for the way we want to FEEL, we forget that we’re responsible for the way we’re feeling right now, here in the PRESENT. 

We forget to be present for ourselves where we are, for our life where it is. Being “here” and appreciating what we have “here” is valuable and important in getting us “there.” In fact, to create the future we’d like to have, we need to appreciate what we DO have now.

“Being aware of the present moment simply means you never believe the illusion that the future is going to be better than what is going on right now.” – Mateo Tabatabai, The Mind-Made Prison

Your turn: What’s good about right now? (I can breathe, I’m working at a job that pays me, I have clothes to wear, I have eyes that can read these words. . .)  What can you appreciate about you and your life exactly as you are, exactly as it is? What do you feel when you think those thoughts?

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

“I hate myself”

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Stop it.

I’ve noticed that people tend to be more interested in other people’s self-loathing than in other people’s self-loving. I wonder why this is?

Is it because we’re so familiar with our self-loathing that we can relate more to hearing about other people’s self-loathing? 

Is it because we don’t know how to love ourselves, so we judge others who seem to know how to?

Is it because we’re uncomfortable with loving ourselves, so we feel repelled when we see other people loving themselves?

Maybe. I used to feel frustrated when people said, “Just love yourself!” That seemed so far away, so aspirational, something I didn’t even know how to take a step forward to start. 

What does “loving yourself” even mean? What does it look like? 

It’s so interesting that hating ourselves seems so much easier than loving ourselves. We pick up all these messages from our culture and society that tell us why we shouldn’t feel good about ourselves the way we are. We need to be more this, less that, smarter, richer, skinnier, stronger, better. 

We’re basically told NOT to love ourselves because we need to be “better than” we are before we can even consider loving ourselves. 

And that’s just not true. We CAN love ourselves exactly where we are. It starts with being kinder to ourselves.

One of the most powerful things that helped me start being kinder to myself is this:

  • – Stand in front of a mirror
  • – Look yourself in the eyes
  • – Say “thank you” out loud to yourself

Start with once a day for a week and see what happens. It might feel uncomfortable and even unnatural at first, but keep going. This is for YOU. 

You are saying “thank you” to yourself for being you, for doing all the hard things you’ve done, for showing up each day even when you don’t want to sometimes, for your body that supports your life, for your eyes that see the world, for your hands that do the work, for you who exists in the world. Exactly as you are. This YOU has done some impressive things. This YOU has learned some important lessons. Let’s celebrate this YOU by saying “thank you” in the mirror. 

Keep saying “thank you” to yourself in the mirror at least once a day until it feels comfortable, until you can smile at yourself when you say it, until you feel the gratitude you’re giving to yourself. 

When “thank you” starts to feel comfortable (maybe after a month or two, maybe more/less), move to “I love you.” THAT can certainly feel uncomfortable and unnatural at first. Keep going. Do it for a week and see what happens. 

This is for YOU. Keep saying “I love you” to yourself in the mirror at least once a day until it feels comfortable, until you can smile at yourself when you say it, until you feel the love you’re giving to yourself.

You might start to find that you can say “I love you” to yourself in more ways than one. You might start feeling LOVE for YOURSELF.

Your turn: Are you willing to try the above activity until “thank you” feels comfortable? What about moving to “I love you”? And remember, our thoughts are optional, they’re choices. We can choose to stop thinking self-hating thoughts and choose to start thinking self-loving thoughts. I’d love to know what impact this has on you if you’d like to share!

Also, if you already practice this exercise, it’s just a reminder of how far you’ve come, how much you’ve done to love yourself, and how powerful this exercise is!

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.