Tag: future self

When you go all-in

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Bet on yourself.

“Leap and the net will appear.” – John Burroughs

This year, I’m deciding to go all-in with the goals I have. It sounds obvious—of course we need to be all-in to succeed. But how often do we quietly talk ourselves out of what we want?

“It probably won’t happen, so why try?”

“What if I give up before I get there?”

“What if I’m not cut out for this?”

These are just ways our brain tries to keep us “safe,” by convincing us NOT to take actions towards our goals. Because goals can be scary. The unknown feels risky. Disappointment, failure, and letting ourselves (or others) down feels scary. So, we hedge our bets. We put in half-effort as a built-in excuse for why we didn’t make it.

But half-effort isn’t going all-in.

Something shifts when we decide to go all-in, when we DO take actions—even if we ultimately don’t end up with our intended goal. 

Even if we don’t end up with our intended goal?!

Yes. Because by doing this, we are seeing what’s possible for ourselves, stretching ourselves past who we already are and becoming an expanded version of ourselves. 

I want to see who I can become through this process. I know that no matter what the outcome, I will grow from going through this process. 

And maybe that’s the whole point of having goals. Not only to achieve the goal, but to see who we can become by working towards the goal. In working towards the goal, we will be strengthening our belief in ourselves, we might be taking actions we’ve never taken before, and we might be feeling the discomfort of doing these new things, these hard things. 

Then it doesn’t matter so much if we actually achieve the goal or not. Because we still get to be the person we’ve become from the effort we’ve exerted. That part doesn’t go away. That growth becomes part of us. We can take this version of ourselves to the next thing, and the next.

And that version of us? That’s the real win.

Your turn: What do you want for yourself that you’re willing to go all-in on and bet on yourself to make happen? What would you need to think and believe? What would you need to feel? And what actions would you take (or not take) to get the result you want? Who will you become along the way?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Wisdom from your Future Self

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Receive it.

Many of us are used to looking to our past to determine what our future could be. 

We may think, “Well, I’ve only made $75,000 a year before, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make more than that” or “I’ve never lost 30 pounds before, so I don’t know if I can do it” or just “I haven’t done that before, so I probably can’t do it.”

When we really look at those thoughts, it’s almost silly that we’d think them. Just because we haven’t done something before doesn’t mean that we won’t be able to do it. That’s just an easy excuse, a way to shut out possibility. 

If we’re basing what’s possible on our past, then yes, we will only be able to see what’s possible based on what we’ve already done. 

But if we want to go beyond what we’ve done before, we need to look to our future and keep our focus there. 

But what gets in the way now of achieving seemingly impossible goals? 

We may be able to make a list of “things” that get in the way, but really, it’s mostly just our thoughts. Which create feelings. Like fear, doubt, defeat. Ahead of time.

Remember, thoughts create our feelings, feelings drive our actions, and our actions (or inactions) produce the results we get. 

So let’s think thoughts that create the feelings: determined, focused, excited, committed.

Our Future Self believes in what’s possible. 

Our Future Self knows that they can do it. 

Our Future Self is living the dream – has made the money, lost the weight, stopped drinking, has the partner, feels good. 

So instead of thinking thoughts that create obstacles towards our goals and the feeling of “defeated” ahead of time, we can choose thoughts that create momentum and the feeling of “determined.” 

What does our Future Self who’s already achieved the goal think and feel? Let’s start thinking some of those thoughts. Let’s start feeling some of those feelings.

When we choose intentional thoughts on purpose about what’s possible for us, we get to feel the intentional feelings created by those thoughts. Then we get to be intentional with our actions and inactions. And ultimately, we can create the results we want.

Your turn: What do you want to create in your life and why? What would you get to believe and think about yourself when you achieve that goal? What would you get to feel when you achieve that goal? What if those thoughts and feelings are all available for you to believe and feel about yourself right now? Guess what? They are.

I talk more about this topic in today’s episode of Get Out of Your Own Way, Ep. 11: “What Your Future Self Knows.” Check it out here: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube.

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

An easy way to care for yourself

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Even more.

One of the ways I started taking better care of myself was through thinking about my Future Self and what she would appreciate. 

It’s easy to do or not do something in the moment for reasons of instant gratification. But would your Future Self appreciate that action?

Here are some examples:

When faced with washing the dishes in my kitchen sink, would my Future Self appreciate the instant gratification of my Current Self leaving dishes in the sink for her to wash the next day? (Sometimes I DO choose to leave the dishes for the next day – on days when I know I don’t have to rush out of the house first thing in the morning. Then I DO have time to do them in the morning. But if I leave them there the night before a long day, I know I won’t be able to wash them until I get home later the next evening. And by that time, I might be too tired and there goes another day with dishes in the sink. In that case, my Future Self would appreciate me washing the dishes sooner rather than later.)

Would my Future Self appreciate me spending an hour scrolling on social media at night when I could be sleeping earlier or reading instead? I think my Future Self would appreciate some extra sleep or making progress in the book I’m reading.

Would my Future Self appreciate me skipping my morning workout routine today? What would be the consequences of that? If I’m sick or in pain, that’s a different story. My Current Self would appreciate it greatly if I skipped my morning workout routine today. My Future Self might also appreciate it, if it means that I rest and recover more quickly instead of pushing myself and prolonging the pain or sickness.

Would my Future Self appreciate me giving in to the urge to text someone who is better for me NOT to text in the moment? Probably not, because she would have to deal with the consequences of feeling anxious, waiting to hear back, receiving a message that she doesn’t want to hear, or engaging in ways that are unhealthy for her. 

Would my Future Self appreciate me eating another helping of food when I want to lose weight? No, because she’s the one who will be frustrated that her body weight isn’t changing and “nothing” is working. Even though it might meet my Current Self’s need for instant gratification, it will delay my Future Self’s desire for a more healthy weight and well-being. 

In thinking about our Future Self, what we’re doing TODAY contributes to what and who our Future Self will be, do, and have. 

Today, if we don’t overeat, we are taking care of our tomorrow Future Self who won’t feel lethargic and guilty for overeating. 

Today, if we spend an hour working on the report, we are taking care of our next-week Future Self who won’t need to scramble at the last minute to finish the report.

Today, if we decide to finally leave the toxic relationship we’re in, we are taking care of our 6-month later Future Self who is in a healthier relationship with themself (or even someone else). 

Today, if we create a monthly payment plan to pay off our debt and choose on each of the following months to stick with the plan, we are taking care of our one-year later Future Self who no longer has debt. 

We get to decide today with our actions how we are taking care of our Future Self. 

Your turn: What will you decide to do today to take care of your Future Self tomorrow? What about your Future Self in a week? In a month? In a year?

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Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

Take care of your Future Self

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

Do it today.

A couple weeks ago, we talked about thinking about our Future Self and what our Future Self knows. We talked about creating from a place of what our Future Self knows.

In thinking about our Future Self, what we’re doing TODAY contributes to what and who our Future Self will be. 

Today, if we don’t overeat, we are taking care of our tomorrow Future Self who won’t feel lethargic and guilty for overeating. 

Today, if we don’t overdrink, we are taking care of our tomorrow Future Self who won’t feel hungover and waste a day away.

Today, if we spend an hour working on the report, we are taking care of our next-week Future Self who won’t need to scramble at the last minute to finish the report, like we usually do.

Today, if we plan our running schedule and start it, we are taking care of our next-month Future Self who can run 5 miles in preparation for the 12 mile run we committed to in three months.

Today, if we decide to finally leave the toxic relationship we’re in, we are taking care of our 6-month later Future Self who is in a healthier relationship with someone else. 

Today, if we create a monthly payment plan to pay off our debt and choose on each of the following months to stick with the plan, we are taking care of our one-year later Future Self who no longer has debt. 

We get to decide today with our actions how we are taking care of our Future Selves. 

Your turn: What will you decide to do today to take care of your Future Self . . . what about tomorrow? Next week? Next month? In six months? In a year? In five years?

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

What your Future Self knows

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s happening.

Many of us are used to looking to our past to determine what our future could be. 

We may think, “Well, I’ve only made $75,000 a year before, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make more than that” or “I’ve never lost 30 pounds before, so I don’t know if I can do it” or just “I haven’t done that before, so I probably can’t do it.”

When we really look at those thoughts, it’s almost silly that we’d think them. Just because we haven’t done something before doesn’t mean that we’ll likely be unable to do it. That’s just an easy excuse, a way to shut out possibility. 

If we’re basing what’s possible on our past, then yes, we will only be able to see what’s possible based on what we’ve already done. 

But if we want to go beyond what we’ve done before, we need to look to our future and keep our focus there. 

But what gets in the way now of achieving seemingly impossible goals? 

We may be able to make a list of “things” that get in the way, but really, it’s mostly just our thoughts. Which create feelings. Like fear, doubt, defeat. Ahead of time.

Remember, thoughts create our feelings, feelings drive our actions, and our actions (or inactions) produce the results we get. 

So let’s think thoughts that create the feelings: determined, focused, excited, passionate.

Our Future Self believes in what’s possible.

Our Future Self knows that they can do it.

Our Future Self is living the dream—has made the money, lost the weight, stopped drinking, has the partner, feels good. 

So instead of thinking thoughts that create obstacles towards our goals and the feeling of “defeated” ahead of time, we can choose thoughts that create momentum and the feeling of “determined.” 

What does our Future Self who’s already achieved the goal think and feel? Let’s start thinking some of those thoughts. Let’s start feeling some of those feelings.

When we choose intentional thoughts on purpose about what’s possible for us, we get to feel the intentional feelings created by those thoughts. Then we get to be intentional with our actions and inactions. And ultimately, we can create the results we want.

Your turn: What do you want to create in your life and why? What would you get to believe and think about yourself when you achieve that goal? What would you get to feel when you achieve that goal? What if those thoughts and feelings are all available for you to believe and feel about yourself right now? Guess what? They are.

Your Future Self knows how

~ The Healing Modalities ~ 2 Comments

. . . to do it.

Many of us are used to looking to our past to determine what our future could be. 

We may think, “Well, I’ve only made $75,000 a year before, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make more than that” or “I’ve never lost 30 pounds before, so I don’t know if I can do it” or just “I haven’t done that before, so I probably can’t do it.”

When we really look at those thoughts, it’s almost silly that we’d think them. Just because we haven’t done something before doesn’t mean that we’ll likely be unable to do it. That’s just an easy excuse, a way to shut out possibility. 

How did we ever do something before we did it? By just doing it! 

And learning from what we found out when we did it. Data gathering: “This seems to work. That didn’t really work. So I just have to do a bit more of this than that to keep going.” 

Get a feel for it. Do it wrong. Get a feel for it. Do it a little more right. Repeat.

We didn’t know how to walk before, or ride a bike, or drive, or graduate from high school, or get a job, but we took the actions–and continued to take the actions–needed in order to do those things. To achieve those goals.

We had the desire to grow and learn, and we had the desire for an outcome. We had a strong “why” – a strong reason for wanting to make the effort to achieve the outcome. 

So what gets in the way now of achieving those seemingly impossible goals? 

Our thoughts. Which create feelings. Like fear, doubt, defeat. 

Thoughts create our feelings, feelings drive our actions, and our actions (or inactions) produce the results we get. 

So let’s think thoughts that create the feelings: determined, focused, excited, passionate.

If we’re basing what’s possible on our past, then yes, we will only be able to see what’s possible based on what we’ve already done. 

But if we want to go beyond what we’ve done before, we need to look to our future and keep our focus there. 

Our Future Self believes in what’s possible. Our Future Self knows that they can do it. Our Future Self is living the dream–has made the money, lost the weight, stopped drinking, has the partner, feels good. 

So instead of thinking thoughts that create obstacles towards our goals and the feeling of “defeated” ahead of time, we can choose thoughts that create momentum and the feeling of “determined.” 

What does our Future Self who’s already achieved the goal think and feel? Let’s start thinking some of those thoughts. Let’s start feeling some of those feelings.

When we choose intentional thoughts on purpose about what’s possible for us, we get to feel the intentional feelings created by those thoughts. Then we get to be intentional with our actions and inactions. And ultimately, we create the results we want.

Your turn: What do you want to create in your life and why? What would you get to believe and think about yourself when you achieve that goal? What would you get to feel when you achieve that goal? What if those thoughts and feelings are all available for you to believe and feel about yourself right now? Guess what? They are.

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.

What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.

It’s not better “there” than here

~ The Healing Modalities ~ Leave a comment

It’s just different.

When we set goals for ourselves, it’s easy to start thinking that when we finally achieve those goals, our lives will be better. 

Our lives will be different, not necessarily better. We may not have some of the problems we had before achieving our goal. But then we may have new problems after achieving our goal.

Life will still be 50/50, positive/negative.

But it’s tempting to think that “there” is better than where we are right now. We might start thinking:

“Once I get that promotion, I’ll be satisfied.”

“When I find my perfect partner, I’ll feel worthy.”

“Once I’ve lost the extra weight, I’ll love myself more.”

“When I buy a house, I’ll feel complete.”

“Once we have kids, our marriage will be more fulfilling.”

We can get focused on the “there” and forget about being here in the present moment. And when we place a lot of weight on getting “there,” we may be disappointed once we are “there” and we still don’t feel satisfied, worthy, loving, or complete. 

This is not to say that our goals aren’t important or that we shouldn’t have a vision of what we want for ourselves. But when we place so much responsibility on the future for the way we want to feel, we forget that we’re responsible for the way we’re feeling right now. 

“Being aware of the present moment simply means you never believe the illusion that the future is going to be better than what is going on right now.” – Mateo Tabatabai, The Mind-Made Prison

We can feel satisfied, worthy, loving, and complete right now by what we’re thinking about our life circumstances and ourselves. Our thoughts generate our feelings. We can fuel ourselves with the feelings we want to feel, take aligned actions, and create the future we want from here. 

Being “here” and creating our future from “here” is just as valuable and important as being “there” can be.

“Plan, dream, and organize all you want, just don’t start believing that what you have planned for the future is going to be any better than your current moment. You are going to be in the present moment your entire life. If you are focusing on how good the future is going to be, you are just running on the hamster wheel hoping to get somewhere. Life is right now in this glorious moment right in front of you. I believe that if you’re not allowing yourself to be happy right now, nothing external in the future is going to change that permanently.” – Mateo Tabatabai, The Mind-Made Prison

Your turn: What feelings do you think achieving your goals will generate for you? Do you believe you have the capacity to feel those feelings right now? What would happen if you didn’t need to wait for future circumstances to provide the feelings you want and that you can feel that way now? What would it look like for you to move towards your goals feeling now the way you think achieving those goals would feel?

Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.

Work with me: Want to create a more meaningful life in which you start committing to yourself and get to show up the way you want? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 60-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.