Your own.
I used to run around trying to prove I was worthy.
I overworked myself at my job. I volunteered on weeknights and weekends. I said “yes” to everyone and everything.
I thought if I did enough, I’d finally feel valuable. But because I didn’t know how to approve of myself, I kept seeking that approval from others—and at my own expense.
What I didn’t know back then: You can seek your own approval.
In fact, your own approval is the most important of all. Because only you get to decide whether you approve of yourself.
Even when we try to seek approval from others, we can’t control what people think of us. People will form opinions based on them—their experiences, conditioning, values, beliefs—not necessarily based on us.
Imagine being in a room with 10 people. You say or do something meaningful to you. Chances are, you’ll get 10 different interpretations. You didn’t change what you did—but each person filters it through their own lens.
If we’re chasing approval from all 10 people, we might get praise from a few… and judgment from a few others. It’s a losing game, and it pulls us away from who we really are.
Instead, we can learn to ask:
“How do I want to show up?”
“What feels aligned for me?”
When we act from our values—when we behave in ways we’re proud of—we can approve of ourselves, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Now, I still do a lot of things. But I’m no longer doing them to prove my worth.
I do them because I want to. Because I know I have value to contribute. Because I know I’m already worthy.
But most of us weren’t taught that we’re already worthy. I know I wasn’t.
What we’re often taught is that worth has to be earned—through performance, achievement, likability. That if we want to belong, we have to please. That if we want to be accepted, we have to keep the peace.
But real belonging never asks you to betray yourself.
When we build self-approval, we become more able to connect authentically—with people who see us clearly, and who love us as we are. We stop bending and breaking ourselves to be palatable. We start showing up as more of ourselves. And from that place, real belonging becomes possible.
Your turn:
Do you believe that you are already 100% worthy?
If not, could you try on the thought: “It’s possible that I’m already 100% worthy”?
What might change if you practiced believing that?
Where in your life are you tempted to hide or perform to feel like you belong?
What would it look like to bring more of your true self into those spaces?
Subscribe if you want to receive this content directly in your inbox.
Work with me: Want to see how self-care is transformative and can help you create the results you want in your life? I can show you how. I offer first-time seekers a complimentary 45-minute exploratory session. Sign up here.
What’s on your mind? It can be powerful to learn from each other and our common struggles when it comes to our practice of self-care–or just being a human being. If you have something you’re struggling with and would like some perspective, share it here. Your issue may be chosen and addressed in the next post–it’ll be totally anonymous.
The Healing Modalities 