Transitions long shadows leap the length of my mind twirling and spinning like orange brown leaves blowing in the lane this year, this year I want it to be over, but I don’t want it to end, to mark another year passing where I didn’t “do” enough what do I have to show for it? nothing, is the easy answer not enough, is the harder answer this cycle, unstoppable Life, Death, Rebirth Life, Death, Rebirth in every moment of the day, something dies and something new comes forward can I allow this to be? release the Resistance open to Acceptance settle into Surrender feeling cradled by what is this, being enough.
I wrap my fears around your shoulders
A cape of my desiccated dreams
I expect you to conquer them for me
But how can you?
They ride on your back as you run from me.
“we will drive until the moon balloons
to just past perfect for a night like this”
– From “God and When My Mother Passes” by Denise Benavides
In silver armor we step on the gas
pedal through universes,
for the special occasion when soul mates
with soul, entwining, finding
crevices to fill, the emptiness
so long suffered through.
The tarnished I/us that was, the polished me/we now who will be, future more perfect than past.
For a night like this the moon fulfills dreams,
moon beams lift us up to black sky beyond
stars blanketing an abyss,
millions and billions, we surpass them
all, shine brighter in each other’s arms where we fit,
no longer dry husks, empty, but supple bladders, full
to swollen, balloons are our red hearts
drifting side by side, red to bursting as fluids
mingle, life created, cell by cell, multiplying
like our prospects, our hopes and joys, despair
subsides, a submarine of loneliness sinks to the bottom of the sea,
like blood that is more leaden than water.
The ocean knows and carries us
across miles towards our new life together,
the one we almost ran from once,
too scared to fail, to hurt again
to be destroyed and damaged as so many times before
we set eyes on each other.
This night, we shed our silver armor, expose
our luminous love-woven skin, and speed in
to battle our debts together, settle into each other’s losses.